5. Honesty

Lesson: To Thy Self be True.

The only guys that hit on me are grimey homeless guys. This time, I was stuck on a crowded bus with one (as in there was no where to escape).

He asked 5 million questions. Even though I gave quick answers, turned my back towards him, the questions kept coming.

By the end of my ride I had become Lauren. A 21yo fashion design student as SF State University who has a faithful boyfriend that she would never cheat on.

Did I mention the grimey guy on the bus was clearly over 50.

A much nicer looking guy than the one on the bus.

Disgusting. I know. Story of my non existent love life.

I should have been myself. I'm not saying I should have given him my full name, address, phone number, social security, and mother's maiden name.

I really didn't want to engage in the conversation, but I didn't want to be rude. I was more concerned about his feelings and how all the people on the bus perceived me more than I cared for my own peace of mind.

This is how the conversation should have gone:

• Him: It sure is a nice day.
• Me: It is.
• Him: (pointless chatter). By the way, my name is George. What is yours?
• Me: I prefer not to say. I need to think right now... in complete silence. Enjoy your day. *blank stare out the window*

I should have stood up for myself.

I've taken many self defense classes and they all agree on 1 thing: Many predators are counting on women to be polite and not want to make a big scene. Despite knowing this, I usually tend to talk to strangers. When I was younger I was taught "Stranger Danger! Stranger Danger!"

Next time that type of situation happens, I'm going to look at the guy like I'm seriously about to cut him, then look away with out saying anything. I'm black, I'm suppose to seem like I have a problem with the world or that I am inherently dangerous.

I owe it to myself to be my own advocate for my safety, dignity, and peace of mind.